Photographer General’s Warning

Yes, I know there’s no Photographer General(Like the Surgeon General,)  But if there was, this would be the mandatory label attached to the box of every new camera dslr kit. I mean no offense to anyone by this, And I even represent some of it(I sell Aperture presets.)

Robert, this is directed specifically at you: Purchasing this camera does not make you a photographer. The use of this camera at a wedding does not make you a wedding photographer. Advertising on Craigslist does not make you a professional photographer.

P does not stand for “professional,” green does not mean “go”, and Kevin Kabota and other stylized actions or presets will not make your snapshots look good.

The lens and flash that come with this camera are not sufficient. An additional investment of at least $3000 will be necessary in order to bring the possibility* of your images up to par with other professionals. On that note, you will need to invest in a second camera body for when this camera “freezes” in the middle of your niece’s wedding. The freeze is actually a user malfunction; you pressed the 10 second self timer with your forehead, and can’t figure out how to get it out of that mode.

If you desire to make a living with this camera, remember the following principals: Quickbooks does not replace a good CPA, Facebook is not a replacement for a website, Federal, State, and local taxes are mandatory, expensive, and you have to take them into consideration with you pricing. Insurance isn’t just for your car or your health. You WILL screw something up, so be covered.

Everyone and their grandma wants to be a professional photographer. This is your competition, and in a market where the supply is higher than the demand, your images won’t be worth anything to anybody until you create value in your products and services. Not only will you need to be a cut above the rest when it comes to photography in order to bring in any decent income, but you will also need to learn how to be a marketing genius and small business guru. This is not a small undertaking. What makes you any different from the other millions of “professional” photographers out there? If a bank can’t seem to be able to stay in business, what makes you think that you have what it takes?

You will spend a minimum of 2 hours editing for each hour shooting. Figure this into your pricing. There is no such thing as shooting for free. Your camera costs you money, your CF cards cost you money, your computer costs you money, your external hard-drive costs you money, your time editing costs you money, dvds cost you money, the sharpie with which you label your dvd costs you money. Someone is paying for the images… It shouldn’t be you.

*possibility. The $3000 additional investment only gives you the possibility to shoot incredible images. It does not guarantee it, and furthermore, is extremely unlikely. The investment of a few years, learning, shooting, taking workshops, and trial and error are the only ways to actually create incredible images consistently.

Or this:

The use of this camera to earn an income will likely result in the following: Stress, Hair-loss, Tax problems, strained relationships with your spouse, high blood pressure, neck and back pain, nausea, IBS(Irritable Bride Syndrome), No savings or extra money in your bank account.

I hope this was entertaining. I wrote this as a response to a discussion in the Pictage forums about regulation. The general consensus from most photographers is that regulation would be a bad idea. I think I agree. However, Proper education would go a long way to deter people that shouldn’t be going into business for themselves from trying to make a quick buck from photography. Either way this is purely satirical, I mean no harm or offense by it. And if you respond with any debasing comments, they will be deleted.